Thread:GalaxE/@comment-36159587-20200116233131/@comment-36159587-20200118232343

My nonchalance in the forums for anyone leaving was a lie. I always just pretended it didn't hurt me

Now that I haven't pretended for such a long time, the fact that my closest friend leaves every year haunts me. That means at least 10 people close to me have left.

Echo's initial leave on the SAMB was the hard-hitting leave to me. A few months earlier, it was Fallon's leave. I was unable to pretend it didn't hurt me.

So now if it's a stranger leaving, it feels like they're leaving all over again, and it feels like one day, you all will be gone, and everyone I know will be gone, and only I will remain, and it just...

Well, it's not a good feeling. I've prepared myself for the fact online friendships are hard to maintain, perhaps even more so than actual ones, as people will not be able to find each other so easily even in the real world once they separate.

That was the barrier put up after Echo first left. I'm glad she came back, yet...

It's not a healthy state of mind, I think, to constantly think "They will leave me" every day.

 ...but I thought mascara was a fish."  -Galaxian-  23:23, January 18, 2020 (UTC)