Thread:ThisIsXenon/@comment-32273133-20190308141311/@comment-32273133-20190318220008

a kind of sad/weird/idk thing i wrote a couple days ago, for the record i've spent a lot of time outside and i feel better now

On a slightly more serious note, I’m going through my yearly mood cycle and oh boy, it’s March again, and I can feel it mentally. Anxiety’s getting close to spinning out and I can feel the depressive mood creeping up. But, I swear, I’m not going to let myself get to the point I was at last year. I’m not going to leave something cryptic and worrying and then disappear. I’ll promise I’ll be okay. I’m gonna kick it in the teeth this time.

It’s hard. I’ll get to better eventually, but it’s  hard. And I hate it. I hate that it has to be this way. I hate that I have to say this and be like “yeah so if I’m inactive, don’t worry I’m not dead lol.” But hopefully I won’t get to that. I’m gonna breathe through it and drink lots of water and take care of myself this time instead of sitting at the computer for eight hours a day.

And you all should to! Take advantage of the times you aren’t in school and take care of yourselves. Do something non-forum related for yourself. Talk to people you care about. Heck, talk to yourself. Draw, read, write, dance, song, whatever. Express. Feel emotions. Cry if you feel it. Tears do not make you weak. Showing emotion does not make you weak. The ability to recognise, express, and embrace emotion is really hard, and something that takes a lot of strength to do. Sure, you may feel like a wreck after, but that’s okay. You’re getting rid of poison. It’s not supposed to feel good. But it’ll get better. It’ll get better. I promise that it gets better. Breathing is fantastic, living is wonderful and terrifying and overwhelming but it’s beautiful. So just breathe. Breathe and take a second to feel everything alive around you. It works better if you’re outside. The world is beautiful. Go see it. Go look out at the clouds or the birds  Go out in your yard or in front of your home and feel it all.

And remember you’re worth something. You’re worth everything to the world, and without you, there’d be a hole. Every single one of you has the power to do something amazing. And you’re worth something to me. All of you. Even the ones I don’t talk to often. You’re all amazing. Never forget that.