Thread:ThisIsXenon/@comment-32273133-20190914153918/@comment-32273133-20200108151518

idk if any of these have already been posted but I’ve got a bunch.

Calidi:  [stares out the window, looking pensive]

Clay:  he’s so beautiful, so thoughtful. I wonder what he’s thinking....

Calidi, internally:  Wed-nes-day? Whensday? Wendesday?

~

MJ:  how do you manage all these kids you keep having?

Silverskies:  The secret is, we actually have no control over them whatsoever.

Xavier:  This morning Clay yelled for me and when I showed up to see what was going on, Skylight shot me in the neck with a nerf gun.

~

Micah:  *stumbles into the room*

Damian:  oh shit, are you okay???

Micah:  yeah, I’m fine, is this floor taken? Okay cool!

Micah:  *collapses*

Damian:  what the hell!

Clay:  it’s fine, this happens a lot. We wait until he wakes up and then we fill one of those kids oral syringes with milk and crushed up cobalamin and stick it in his mouth.

Damian:

Damian:  how is that “fine”??

~

Damian, texting:  hey wyd

Micah, texting back:  in bed crying

Micah:  *CHILLING

Micah:  that was autocorrect I swear

Micah:  I’M NOT ACCEPTING YOUR CALLS WE’RE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN

~

Damian:  what do you want to be for halloween

Micah:  loved

Damian:  don’t do this

~

MJ:  This jar of jelly is empty

Micah:  oh yeah sorry I had it

MJ:

MJ:  I just bought it today, it was a new jar. You ate a whole jar of jelly.

Micah:  yeah, so

MJ:

~

Asarin:  you’re supposed to bang your fist against mine

Alamore:  why?

Asarin:  I’m told it’s a widely accepted gesture for mutual success

Trin:  I love it when you two impersonate humans.

~

Virali: what did you say?

Percy:  I said “whoever took my book, your momma’s a hoe!”

~

Damian, drunk out of his mind:  you’re so hot

Micah: uh

Damian:  and spicy

Micah:  okay

Damian, wrapping both arms around him:  my lil buffalo chicken wing

~

MJ:  so how’s Micah dealing with finally not being mind-controlled anymore?

Damian:  he’s okay. after all he’s been through, nothing really fazes him anymore, watch this

Damian:  hey Micah?

Micah:  yo

Damian:  there’s an asteroid headed this way. death is imminent

Micah, sipping out of a juice box:  wig

~

Matthias: *screams*

Ace:  *screams louder to establish dominance*

Phoebe:  should we do something?

Percy, observing:  no, I want to see who wins this.

~

Damian:  you think I enjoy having to look out for you all the time making sure you’re safe?

Micah:

Damian:

Micah:

Damian:  okay, fine, it’s like crack to me

~

Clay:  I suffered nosebleeds as a child. Once I had one so bad I woke up covered in blood

Clay:  so I went to go wake Micah up. He opened his eyes to see a bloodsoaked child standing over him in the dark whispering “please help” and to this day I can still hear him screaming.

~

Bex:  yeah there’s four of them and only one of me, but i have a lighter, okay, we get some hairspray, make some flamethrowers, let’s fry these bitches

Kanon, calmly:  no one is frying any bitches

~

Damian:  MICAH WHAT THE HELL

Micah:  oh, so only roosters are allowed to start their day off with screaming?

Damian:  YES

~

Micah:  you lost a lot of blood and passed out. Do you remember anything?

Clay:  only the ambulance ride to the hospital

Damian:  that wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you

Clay:  but I heard a siren

Micah:  that was Calidi

Calidi:  I was WORRIED

~

Micah:  the eagles won last night

Damian:  oh, you watched the game?

Micah, covered in blood and scratches:  what game

~

Damian:  Micah has zero survival or self-preservation instinct. sometimes I think he was born without it

Haru:  I’m sure that’s not true, everyone has—

Damian:  watch this

Damian:  hey Micah, race you downstairs

Micah:  [jumps out of a window]

~

Damian:  [rolls over in his sleep and knees Micah in the ribs]

Micah:  ow

Micah:  you kneed me

Damian, sleepily:  yeah, I do need you.

~

Shuji:  I can’t believe you and Micah broke the bed last night

Haru:  it must’ve been passionate, huh?

Damian:  oh yeah!

[last night]

Damian:  bet you can’t jump high enough to touch the ceiling

Micah:  watch me

~

Pollo: I can’t find my phone

Damian:  okay, I’ll call you

Pollo: no wait-

phone ringing:  you are my dad (you’re my dad!) BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

Pollo:

Damian:

Pollo:  I can explain.

~

Damian:  so, are you a cuddler?

Micah:  I am a machine of death and destruction

Damian:

Micah:  yeah I’m a cuddler

~

Clay:  Micah would throw himself in front of a car for you

Damian:  Micah would throw himself in front of a car for fun

~

Chan:  if we’re walking together, please take into consideration my tiny legs. I can’t keep up with you. Please think of my tiny legs. I can’t keep jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll, you titan

Min-Jin: Just get a pair of roller skates and hang onto my sleeve. We don’t have all day.

~

Xenon, texting:  feeling :(

Melody:  turn that frown upside down

Xenon:  the “(“ would look the same due to its horizontal symmetry

Melody:  reflect that frown across its vertical axis

Xenon:  :)

Melody:  ;)

~

Interviewer:  so what’s it like being a gay assassin?

Hanoi:  it’s like being a straight assassin but with better eyeliner

~

Damian, to Micah:  you look so hot when you find me annoying.

~

MJ:  did you have to stab him?

Jackie:  you weren’t there. you didn’t hear what he said to me.

MJ:  what did he say?

Jackie:  “what are you gonna do, stab me?”

MJ:  that’s fair.

~

“I have one brain cell that bounces around my skull like a windows screen saver. When it hits the exact corner, I form a single coherent thought.”

—Bex

~

Micah:  what’s wrong with the way I dress?

Clay:  some way all that black and leather makes you look like an evil villain

Damian:  but not me, I think it makes you look like a sexy motorcycle

Micah:

Micah:  thanks.

~

Percy:  I’d like everyone to take a moment and think back to a time they did something stupid, how they were treated, and how they wish they were treated

MJ:  Percy what did you do

~

Micah, pointing to a high shelf:  can you get that for me

Damian:  you need me in your life after all.

Micah:  I could replace you with a stepstool.

~

Bex:  *pulls out a gun*

Oliver:  Bex! I said no guns!

Bex:  I thought you said no gum

Oliver:  but you’re chewing gum

Bex, blowing a bubble:  I’m a wildcard

~

Damian:  if I died, how much would you miss me?

Micah:  it’s cute that you think death can get you out of this relationship

~

Galaxian:  you people have issues

Micah:  of course I have issues! *points to Oganesson* that’s my freakin’ father!

~

Percy:  what do you mean “no”?

Xavier:  do you want to hear it in Spanish?

Xavier:  no

~

Autumn:  you can control white people by giving them cheese

Percy:  cheese is so good though

Autumn:  got one

~

Bex, to Percy:  there are approximately 1010300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

~

Clay:  I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, Micah

Micah:  pretty sure we’re all criminals, Clay

~

MJ, to Percy:  here’s a hot tip:  most girls don’t like being stalked

~

Damian:  we should spice things up in the bedroom

Micah:  good idea

[later]

Damian:  what’s that on the bed?

Micah, seductively:  paprika

~

Percy:  isn’t it weird that we kill mosquitoes just because they’re annoying?

Percy:  like damn if we did that to people I would have been dead years ago

~

MJ:  i have the urge to do something stupid

Percy, mumbling:  so if I was something stupid, would you do me?

Fireon crew:

Percy:  uh....I mean....you must want to....do yourself....because you sure are something stupid

Xavier:  that was as smooth as sandpaper

~

Oganesson:  I hope you two have a good explanation for this.

Korin:  we have three

Hanoi:  pick your favourite

~

Micah, introducing Damian:  this is my better half

Damian, introducing Micah:  this is my bitter half.

~

Bex:  respect my pronouns or get your kneecaps stolen, sorry I don’t make the rules

~

Shuji:  reactions to getting stabbed?

Haru:  rude

Micah:  that’s fair

Damian:  not again

Clay:  are you going to want this back, or can I keep it?

~

Palyx:  so you have 12 apples and your boyfriend asks for six—what do you have?

Calidi, tearing up:  a boyfriend

~

Midori:  ever since Hanoi learned stan language, he’s been walking around talking like he’s on twitter

Hanoi:  Oof, the call out, sis. The tea is SCORCHING

Midori:  please stop

~

Calidi:  I think everyone’s just kinda too busy to care about me sometimes.

Micah:  are you serious right now

Calidi:....yeah

Micah:  Calidi, can you do me a favour and shout for a second

Calidi:  Uh, sure? *shouts*

Clay, Damian, and MJ, bursting into the room:  OH MY GODS CALIDI, is everything okay???!? are you hurt????!? what’s wrong????!?

~

Micah:  hey I’m home from the stor.....again?

Damian, stuck on top of the fridge with a pot on his head holding all of his weapons:  I saw another spider. Nowhere is safe. We’ll rendezvous in Nova Scotia. I’m burning the house down.

~

Clay:  is Skylight always like this when she loses?

Miku:  oh, yes. You should’ve been here for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2008

Skylight:  YOU BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT

~

MJ:  who ate all the cookies

Percy:  ninjas

MJ:  i didn’t see them

Percy:  no one ever does

~

Anyone:  are you too married yet?

Damian:  no, we’re en-gay-ged

Micah:  can I get an early divorce

~

Korin:  you’ll be okay, marshmallow

Hanoi:  do you call me marshmallow because I’m soft and easily flattened?

Korin:  well, yeah....but if it makes you feel any better, it’s also because you’re very white

~

Damian:  are you okay

Micah, face down in the walk-in freezer:  I’m having me time.

~

Calidi:  I’m going to get a drink, you want anything?

Damian:  I’ll have a martini, dry

Calidi, staring at all the liquids behind the bar:  I don’t know how to tell you this

~

Percy:  I am a very bad person. I am a very very bad person. I am a horrible person.

Trin:

Bex:

Kanon:

Runa:

Spencer:

MJ:

Xavier:

Jacqueline:

Everyone:

Percy:  “No you’re not, Percy. We still love you, Percy.”

~

Calidi:  I’m cold

Clay:  here, take my jacket

Damian:  hey Micah I’m cold too

Micah, pulling out a knife:  ok I’ll fight the weather

~

Micah:  [phone starts to ring]

Haru:  [leans over to see who’s calling] you still call your dad “daddy”?

Micah:  [answers the call and makes direct eye contact with Haru]

Micah:  hey Damian

Haru:  [chokes on drink]

~

Ace, pointing to something dangerous:  yes?

Percy:  no

Ace:

Percy:

Ace:  YES [sprints towards dangerous thing]

Percy:  NO [sprints after her]

~

Micah:  Calidi, why do you love Clay?

Calidi:  because he’s perfect

Micah:  but....you’ve seen him drink maple syrup because he thought it was coffee

Calidi:  everything about him is perfect

Micah:  you’ve seen him take a bite out of an uncooked block of ramen because he was too tired to cook it

Calidi: everything about him is perfect