Thread:Crowsoul50/@comment-33229352-20190304041126/@comment-33229352-20190908090517

asdfgytre its 5am and i havent slept because i worked myself up over literally nothing and it spiraled out of control

but anyway heres an unnrelated ramble about my future

The fact I'm at the stage of my life where I'm starting to seriously talk about college scares me out of my mind.

I don't do good with planning ahead for the future. I can only see the now, and consequences that come as a result of my actions later is something I rarely consider. If it were up to me, I'd take online classes, but my parents already made it very clear to me that they want me to leave for college. Which, ouch, but also understandable because I want to leave and do stupid college shit too, but without the social anxiety of it all.

I still don't know what I wanna do with my life lol. I go to a really high-achieving school (75% of the student body takes some kind of AP class) and our SAT average is six points above Ohio's average. It's all skewed for me because if I was in another school district I'd be close to top of the class, but here I can't help but feel like I'm falling behind. And I'm okay with it? I don't care about that stuff, it just kind of feels like I'm losing a race I didn't ask to be part of.

I think I wanna major in environmental science or something like that but I don't know what comes next after college.