Thread:StarryTheZodiacQueen/@comment-35027757-20190422005616/@comment-35027757-20190822095747

(tw/ anxiety attack description)

so uh yea h

today was high school orientation day and so i went because i'm going back to public school

and guess who had her first ever anxiety attack  : )

it was so crappy like. i still feel uncomfortable just thinking about it. it started when the vice principal was talking away and it was something about maybe having to put me back a grade for my classes so out of nowhere there were tears??? and they wouldnt stop coming??? it was just crying at first, then the school counselor came in and my family just kept talking. then it got really bad, the guidance counselor stared at me dead in the eyes and slowly walked towards me when i was backing away as best as i could; she didnt break eye contact and so the uncomfortableness got really bad, i was panicking and shaking and crying and i literally couldn't breathe. all of the signs were there too, the feeling of imminent death kinda made me realize it later

so basically the guidance counselor tries to touch me (when i'm really stressed and have a minor freak out where i start crying and shaking and i can't focus on anything, and touching me just makes everything worse!!) and im flinching and backing up and i can't focus so then the vice principal tries to give me a hug and i try to back away, then my mom tries to touch my arm and i really just wanted to disappear?? then the guidance counselor drags still shaking and crying and not forming intelligble sentences me to her office and it's the scariest place ever because there are two massive monitors and a table w really uncomfortable chairs. basically she sits me there and makes me choose my classes as i'm still shaking and crying. i dont want to type out the rest but basically another lady tries to touch me as i ask to go to the bathroom as an escape (i've been crying for like half an hour) and so i spend the next 15 mins in the bathroom crying

i couldn't use any of the coping mechanisms i knew (breathing squares, 5-4-3-2-1 system) because i couldn't focus and my brain was too scattered, plus the thinking made things worse :') so uh ??? y'all got recommendations for coping??