Thread:ThisIsXenon/@comment-32273133-20181014201457/@comment-32273133-20190325221847

Damian:  jail’s no fun, I’ll tell you that

Calidi:  you’ve been to jail?

Damian:  once, in Monopoly

Micah:  I know who I married

Damian, with fake glasses and moustache:  dooooooo you?

Micah:  unfortunately

Calidi:  my head hurts

Percy:  that’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity

Percy:  Look, Calloway, I want to apologise for everything I said. For what it’s worth, I enjoy having you around

Oliver:  No you don’t

Percy:  I know. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.

Micah, slightly disheveled as he walks into the room:  Sorry I’m late, I had to do stuff.

Damian, following him, also disheveled and grinning:  I’m stuff

Delphi:  yes, we’re all aware of that, please sit down

[alternatively]

Delphi, to Micah and Damian:  Finally. Where have you been?

Damian:  we had to find a paper, then I got hungry, then stuff happened, you know

Clay:  Micah, your pants are on backwards

Micah:  yeah, that’s the stuff

Virali:  where have you been?

Percy:  I was in the modern sect. How do you not know this?

Virali:  I was asleep

Percy:  It’s been like weeks

Virali:  I was really tired

Calidi:  Hey, Clay, can you hold this?

Clay:  sure, what is it?

Calidi:  [gives Clay his hand]

Clay:

Calidi:

Clay:  okay.

Calidi:  Clay, I’m hungary.

Clay:  I’m Russian to the kitchen!

Damian:  maybe you’ll find some Turkey

Calidi:  we have some, but it’s covered in Greece

Damian:  ew, there is Norway you can eat that

Clay:  how about Chile?

Calidi:  I think I’ll settle for a can of Chile

Damian:  that sounds good, I’d like a Canada Chile too

Clay:  Denmark your name on it

Micah, slamming his book closed:  All of you. Shut up.

Micah:  so I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for ten minutes or 4000 degrees for one minute.

Damian:  micah nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES

Micah:  FLOOR IT?

Damian:  MICAH NO

Micah:  HOW ABOUT 400,000 DEGREES FOR ONE SECOND

Damian:  MICAH YOU ARE GOING TO BURN THE KEEP DOWN

Micah:  IM GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO BAKE COOKIES

Damian:  MICAH  P L E A S E

Damian:  I get offended when people tell me I’m going to hell for being bisexual, because they’re overlooking all the other perfectly valid reasons I’m going to hell.

Enten:  so you know how you love me because you haven’t had a single meeting ever since you became all important and stuff and made me your assistant? That’s because whenever someone calls and requests a meeting with you I schedule them all for March 31st.

Xenon:  why?

Enten:  because I didn’t think March 31st existed

Xenon:  today is March 31st.

Enten:  I know

Xenon:  how many meetings do I have today

Enten:  .....93

Oganesson:  fuck Micah

Damian:  im tryin