Thread:Hurrixane/@comment-34340073-20180401014540

A helmet saved my life, but I still feel like I’m dead... is this heaven?? If so, why is there dancing people and birds landing on my eyes. Where’s my brain?? Did it leave??

I almost died last night by having a brick or something fall on my head, I woke up in a hospital with my helmet completely broken, bandages around my head, and it still hurts.

((Please don’t use all caps))

...I don’t know how I’m feeling right now, my brain is everywhere, and so are my emotions...

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Am I terrified? Am I depressed? Am I alive? Am I broken? Am I worthless?

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Why did this happen to me? Why does the world hate me? Why can’t I just erase my memory? Why Does it have to be this way? Why do I get everything I want? Why do I feel broken? Why can’t I just die?

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I have problems, please help me, tell me I’m lying to myself, that my brain is just going haywire, I want you to tell me that... But it’s not what I need...

I don’t know why I glance at the knife in my parents kitchen, I don’t know why I have to be like this. I feel so fractured, I feel so worthless, I feel like I was created just to be horrible.

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I swear at my sisters... I shout at my parents... I ignore the doctors... I... I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I look so flawless on the outside, but... on the inside I really just feel like a monster.

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Help me... help me get better... fix me... do something...?

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Where am I supposed to go for help? Where did the shackles that made me feel happy go?

Can you answer me?? I tell myself to tell my parents how I feel, but I can’t bring myself to tell them, it hurts when I think about it, when I think they’re to busy with their jobs to talk to me.

Are my emotions real? I’ve never felt this way before, am I going insane?? Please, tell me, help me, do anything, just bring yourself so I know you care. 