Thread:ThisIsXenon/@comment-32273133-20181014201457/@comment-32273133-20181231004930

fantastic, once again

these are the last ones i've been able to find from the plethora i have saved, so it may be a bit before i can internet and get more

Micah:  screenshots don’t scare me I know what the fuck I said

Damian:  we’re engaged

Micah: IN COMBAT

Damian: I’M TOO HOT

Damian:  [points to Micah]

Damian:  :D

Damian:  :D

Damian:  :D

Micah:  [sighs]

Micah:  [monotone with deadpan expression] Hot damn

Damian:  CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIRE MAN

Calidi:  I wasn’t injured. I was lightly stabbed

Clay:  you were stabbed?!?!?!?

Calidi:  lightly stabbed. I didn’t want to frighten you

Micah:  do you ever get so annoyed at everything that you start to get pissed off at even little things like a spoon clinking against a bowl or sounds of people talking?

Clay:  I think it’s called sensory overload and it’s really common in people with anxiety

Clay:  it can also be a result of sleep deprivation, stress, or even dehydration

Micah:  thanks, I thought I was just a bitch

Calidi: [to Hester, beside himself with anger] Y-you….oh, you….you rude lady!

Clay:  whoa, easy on the language there, Cali

Damian:  oh, fiddlesticks

Micah:  look I understand that this is a tense situation but let’s watch the fucking language

Clay:  I have cat-like reflexes

Delphi:  prove it

Clay:  [sees a cat]

Clay:  I like that cat

Damian:  Did it hurt-

Micah:  yes

Damian:  you didn’t even wait for the ‘when you fell from heaven?’ part

Micah:  everything. hurts. Damian.

Micah:  I’m tired of people telling me to “go to the hospital” and that I’ve “lost a lot of blood.” It’s my stab wound, not yours. Stay out of it.

Clay:  do you take constructive criticism?

Calidi, already crying:  Yeah, what’s up?

Clay:  do any sounds annoy you?

Calidi:  real sounds or imaginary sounds?

Clay, curious:  let’s say imaginary

Calidi:  spider wearing flip flops

[alternatively]

Clay:  what sounds annoy you?

Micah:  all of them

Delphi:  well, it’s time to move onto Plan 2

Clay:  don’t you mean Plan B?

Delphi:  that would insinuate I only have 26 plans

Calidi:  Oh yeah?! Well I got five words for you, buddy:  please be nice to me.

Damian:  man, how come every girl posts like, a million photos of her and her friends posing cheek to cheek? It’s so lame

Chan: says the guy who has a picture of us doing that on his desk

Damian:  it’s not posted online, Chan. Yet.

Clay:  as your best friend-

Damian:  Chan is my best friend

Clay:

Clay:  AS YOUR BEST FRIEND-

Damian:  you are a lying, cheating piece of shit!

Micah:  and you’re a liar who thinks they can get away with everything they do! WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Damian:  I’m moving out and I’M TAKING THE DOG WITH ME!

Chan: [picking up the monopoly board] I think we should stop playing now

Micah:  You know what? I’m about to say it.

Damian:  Say it

Micah:  I don’t care that you broke your elbow.

Hester:  I may not be tall or intimidating, but I know a lot of ways to destroy people psychologically

Micah:  when you're gay in your house with nobody else you’re homolone

Damian:  when you’re bi and there’s nobody else around, you’re biyourself

Delphi:  when you’re asexual and nobody is present in your vicinity, you’re aceolated

Clay:  when you’re pansexual and everyone else already left you’ve been apandoned

Hester, pointing to a panicking Micah:  I feel somewhat responsible for this

Clay:  “Somewhat”?!?!

Clay:  but if I’m the leader, what will you be?

Micah:  I’ll be asleep

Clay:  but you never sleep

Calidi:  Why are your tongues purple?

Damian:  I had a blue slushy—

Micah:  —and I had a red one.

Calidi:  take me to art museums and kiss me

Clay:  but they said not to touch the masterpieces

Damian:  Chan is asleep so while she is I’m gonna cut all the sleeves off of my shirts

Micah:  why?

Damian:  she’s pretty much 85% of my impulse control

Damian:  In ten years, i can guarantee you i will be Micah’s second husband

Micah:  What happened to my first husband?

Damian:  nothing you can prove

Chan:  Hey Damian, are you free on Friday? Like around eightish?

Damian:  Yeah?

Chan:  cool! How about you, Micah?

Micah:........yes?

Chan:  great, because I’m not. You two go on without me. Enjoy your date!

Micah:

Damian:

Micah:  did she just-

Damian:  would you stab Percy for three million dollars?

Micah:  I’d stab him for three dollars, next question

Micah:  is there a reason behind what you’re doing?

Hester:  Wildcard!

Calidi:  how are we going to get past the guards?

Micah:  the vents

Calidi:  Ah, blast the AC, they get chilly, they leave to find sweaters

Clay:  actually, we’re going to climb through them

Calidi:  even better. Classic use of vents

Damian:  why are you covered in bruises?

Micah:  I’m so gay i can’t walk straight

Damian:

Micah:  I ran into a fucking table

Xenon:  I just boiled water

Enten:  solid

Xenon:  no

Enten:  I just mean that’s cool

Xenon:  WRONG AGAIN

Delphi:  if you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous

Calidi:  What if it bites me and it dies

Delphi:  then you’re poisonous

Clay:  what if it bites itself and i die

Delphi:  voodoo

Micah:  What if we bite each other and no one dies

Damian:  kinky

Clay:  Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space

Micah:  Terrible joke. Only three stars.

Damian:  I've been thinking about pancake burgers again. Realised you need two pans going to get two warm pancakes and it's not worth the trouble

Micah:  what about two hamburger patties and one pancake

Damian:  the pancakes are finger shields from the patty OKAY?!?!

Micah: SO CUT THE PANCAKE INTO SMALL PIECES FOR EACH FINGER

Damian:  okay listen to me because I'm only saying this ONCE. the pancake is TO EAT and to SHIELD it isn't a FOOD GLOVE and YOU KNOW THAT

Micah:  who says you can't eat the food glove?

Damian:  ALL OF THEM

Micah: Oh SHUT UP ABOUT THE FOOD GLOVES!!

Damian:  You know, Micah, I don't really like your name

Micah:  uh, excuse me?

Damian:  your name. particularly your last name. It sucks

Micah:  What's wrong with my last name?!

Damian:  I don't know….it just doesn't suit you. You should change it

Micah:  Change it?! to what?!

Damian: Diamondback [walks away]

Micah:  did you just

Micah:  DID YOU JUST PROPOSE TO ME

Micah:  COME BACK HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH

Micah:  ARE YOU SMIRKING?

Damian:  [realises he's attracted to Micah]

Damian:  oh, I'm supremely fucked

Damian:  I also want to be supremely fucked

Person:  are you a boy or a girl

Bex:  yes

Person:  no I mean what one

Bex: yes

Person:  but-

Bex:  yes

Damian:  let’s just agree to say I'm sorry in the count of three

Damian:  one, two, three

Micah:

Damian:

Micah:

Micah: well now I'm just disappointed in both of us

Damian:  do I look straight?

Micah:  i hope not

Xavier:  not since Micah came along

Clay:  nope

Calidi: no

Chan:  not really

MJ:  no

Delphi:  no

Oganesson:  no

Damian:  I meant my parking

Everyone:

Everyone:

Micah:  still, no

Clay:  So you and Korin. I mean, together—you two could Cyrus:  take over the world?

Clay:  I was gonna say you could kick some serious ass but yeah that too

Hester:  I'm gonna ask you to respect me

Micah:  I will politely decline

Micah:  If you want to take the Keep, you'll have to go through me

Damian:  and me

Oganesson:  is this a joke? I will not be threatened by two mere mortals

Micah:  you don't want to mess with us

Damian:  he's a biter

Clay:  and you're not just dealing with them

Calidi:  you're dealing with all of us

Delphi:  except me

Calidi:  except Delphi

Delphi:  I don't care what happens

Micah:  I like my women like I like my candy

Xenon:  huh what uh okay…..wait you don't like candy….

Micah:

Xenon: ?

Micah: [sighs]

Xenon:  what?!

Micah:  dad, I'm gay

Hester:  don't mess with me, I could make your life very difficult

Micah:  wow, I wonder what it would be like for you to make my life difficult

Cyrus:  I'm pretty, but tough, like a diamond. Or beef jerky in a ball gown

Xenon, apologising:  .. --/ …---.-..-.-.--

Micah:  What's that?

Xenon:  remorse code

Micah:  I'm even angrier at you now

Damian:  I did a bad thing

Micah:  does it affect me?

Damian:  no

Micah: then suffer in silence

Damian:  I bet I could get you to say “red”

Micah:  doubt it

Damian:  What colour is the sky

Micah:  blue

Damian: told you I could get you to say blue!

Micah:  but you said red

Damian: ;D

Micah:  fuck

Damian:  Figured out why you're so depressed. you have updog.

Micah:  What's updog?

Damian:  CLAY GET IN HERE I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT

Micah:  [sees Percy]

Micah:  give me your revolver, I want to shoot him

Damian:  not in public

Clay:  how could you not find him?

Micah:  because he’s hard to find!

Micah: if he were easy to find the books would be called “There’s Waldo”!

Sappho:  I’d be unstoppable if not for law enforcement and physics

Sycorax:  When you're nonbinary everything is gay

Percy: I just ended a seven year relationship

Virali: are you….okay?

Percy: oh I'm fine. it wasn't my relationship

Micah:  where do you want me?

Damian:  in my bed

Micah:

Micah:  I meant for the picture

Damian:  What are you doing?

Micah:  Reading?

Damian:  hmmm

Damian:  you seem to be giving that book a whole lot of my attention

Damian: rules were meant to be broken

MJ: no. nothing was meant to be broken

Calidi: how about piñatas?

Micah: glow sticks

Chan: pasta when your pot is too small

Clay: those first-aid ice pack things

Damian: rules

MJ: no