Thread:ThisIsXenon/@comment-32273133-20181014201457/@comment-32273133-20181221002219

HI SORRY I'M BACK THERE MAY BE SOME REPEATS BUT HERE

Damian: even as a joke I would never say my boyfriend is a bitch and I hate him.

Damian: my boyfriend is a bitch and I love him so much

Micah: go to bed, you fool, youre drunk.

Damian, slurring: who, me? I assure you, my friend, I am cone sold stober.

Hanoi: What do you call a contrary Australian instrument?

Hanoi: A didgeridon't

Midori: go didgeridie

Micah: I've never been a fan of romance

Clay: *snorts*

Micah: What

Calidi: last week Damian brought you a single rose and you cried in front of all of us

Micah: that doesN'T COUNT

Delphi: I don't want to be the mom friend but—

Clay: no one's making you be the mom

Delphi: I'm grounding everyone

Micah: what?

Damian: no!

Calidi: why?

Delphi: you all know why

Delphi, on confessional cam: none of them have actually done anything but I'm considering it grounding in advance. The gods know these kids don't know how to take a fucking nap.

Micah: this is it. We won.


 * behind Micah, Oganesson starts to rise from ashes*

Damian:

Delphi:

Clay: *starts to point*

Micah: no. We won, Icm not turning around and looking at it. We won.

Micah: excuse me sir, I've lost someone

Security: what's their name and how how old are they?

Micah: his name is Damian and he's 23

Security: oh well I'm sure he can manage hims--

Micah: no, you don't know him like I do. he's not capable of something like that.

Clay: I'm Dr. Clay Tambien, PhD!

Micah: What does the PhD stand for?

Calidi: pretty handsome dude

Damian: Come on, Micah! Try to see the glass half full!

Micah: [pours glass of water on Damian's head]

Micah: and now it's empty.

Calidi: Mirai….I think….I think I might have a crush on Clay

Mirai: Well congrats! You're officially the last one to know!

Sappho: I'm 182% punk and 41% rock

Aziza: that's 223%

Sappho: nobody said being punk rock involved being mathematically correct

Aziza:

Sappho: I'm too punk rock for math

Aziza: you are a MATH MAJOR

Calidi: I'm doing a great job of keeping my crush a secret

Clay: [walks into the room]

Calidi: I have to gay….I mean go

Clay: [holds Calidi's hand in a crowded area]

Calidi: What are you doing?

Clay: it's to make sure you don't wander off or get kidnapped

Calidi:

Clay: people kidnap children all the time, Cali

Calidi: uh….

Xenon: hey bix

Bixbite: ??

Xenon: what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

Bixbite: idk, what?

Xenon: It becomes daytrogen

Bixbite: ….I'm going to bed

Enten: good nitrogen

Anty: Sleep nitrogen

Kinsix: Don't let the bedbugs bitrogen

Bixbite: I hate all of you

Delphi: pick your battles, Micah. Pick fewer. put some back. that's too many

Damian: Exercise is important for a healthy lifestyle. that's why I do yoga daily

Damian: [lays facedown on the floor]

Micah: you cant just do the corpse pose for an hour

Damian: watch me

Micah: not one word, Damian

Damian:

Damian: fergalicious

Micah: I said no words

Damian: oh I see. two weeks ago, playing scrabble it's not a word and now suddenly it is a word because it's convenient for you

Damian: [lying facedown on the floor] Life is meaningless

Micah: Well, I knew that. care to elaborate?

Damian: we're out of alcohol

Micah: of course that's why you're having a meltdown

Delphi: I personally don't think it's possible to create a crazier plan

Clay: we attack the CDs with hummus

Delphi: I stand corrected

Clay: just keeping things in perspective

Cyrus: You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl.

Midori: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Hanoi could fight in that dress either.

Hanoi: perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.

Senshei: May I get you anything to drink?

Oganesson: The tears of our enemies, wrenched from their bodies as their bones are crushed

Senshei: I have jasmine tea

Oganesson: Ooh jasmine. yes please.

[pre relationship]

Damian: ok so you and I are married.

Micah: we are not married.

Damian: relax, it's just pretend

Micah: I don't want to pretend.

Damian: scared you'll like it?

Micah: okay so if we're married I want a divorce.

Calidi: are you like this all the time

Clay: yes. they are

Damian: sometimes Micah feels like a box

Clay: explain?

Damian: Micah is fragile and he needs to be handled with care.

[this was almost me a couple days ago]

Clay, with his leg stuck in a chair: now, you may be asking: how did you get into this situation, Clay?

Clay, trying to get unstuck: Well kids, Clay has no fucking idea either

Enten: I love all of Micah's friends!

Enten: Clay, Damian, Calidi,

Enten: *looks at smudged writing on hand* and Dolphin!

Damian: how's the most handsome man in the world doing?

Micah, without looking up from the table: I don't know, how are you

Damian, voice cracking: I'm fine

Clay: chillax!

Micah: that's not a word

Clay: sometimes the ones who deny chillax are the ones who need to chillax the most

Delphi: if I die my funeral is going to be the biggest party and you're all invited.

Micah: if

Calidi: great, the only party I've ever been invited to and she might not even die.

[modern au]

Micah: hello, people who do not live here

Clay: hey

Calidi: hi

Delphi: hello

Damian: We gave you the key for emergencies

Clay: we were all out of food

Micah:  what's wrong with Percy?

Virali:  he doesn't handle alcohol very well

Percy:  I'm….gonna sssteal the Register…..

Micah:  did you tell him this if he tries, he'll die?

Virali: not yet

Damian:  oh, come on, I didn't drink that much last night

Clay:  you were flirting with Micah

Damian:  so what? he's my boyfriend

Clay:  you asked if he was single

Micah:  and you cried when I said I wasn't

Micah:  I hate being touched

Micah:  the last time I touched a human being was two years ago when I shoved someone out of a window

Clay:  Damian is literally hugging you right now

Micah, burying his face in Damian's shoulder:  this means nothing.

Clay:  did you eat all my powdered donuts

Damian:  *mouth full of donuts* no

Clay:  then what's that white stuff on your jeans?

Damian:  cocaine

Clay:

Micah:  it's impossible to say the word “bubbles” and sound threatening

Clay: ….

[fifteen minutes later]

Calidi:  can someone tell me why Clay has been angrily screaming bubbles on the roof for the past fifteen minutes?

Damian:  everyone, what colour is Micah's shirt

Clay:  grey

Delphi:  grey

Calidi:  grey

Damian:  uh-huh. now, Micah, tell them what colour you said your shirt was.

Micah:  ….light black

Calidi:  you have a face

Clay:  Yes I do

Calidi:  I mean, a nice face. you have a nice face

Clay:  thanks, I think

Calidi:  please accept my feeble attempt at flirting, I don't know what I'm doing

Micah:  you're drunk

Damian:  please, on twelve drinks?

Damian:  Micah and I were meant for each other

Clay:  how so?

Damian:  one time before we were dating I accidentally sent him a dick pic and he sent one back

Calidi:  how strict was Hester?

Clay:  I had fun today, can't have fun tomorrow, sorry

Damian: tell him about the birds and the bees

Clay to Calidi: they're disappearing at an alarming rate

Micah:  Damian and I don't have pet names for each other

Clay: uh huh yeah okay. What do bees make?

Micah:  ….honey?

Damian:  [from the kitchen] yeah love?

[pre-relationship]

Damian, jokingly:  and remember, you're not allowed to fall in love with me

Micah:  not a problem

Micah, two days later in the middle of the night:  THERE'S A PROBLEM-

[air horn sound]

[second air horn sound]

Calidi:  ….this isn't deodorant

Micah:  [wakes up in the infirmary] what….what happened?

Xenon:  You got shot

Micah: well that wasn't very nice at all

Xenon: no, it really wasn-

Micah: they could have at least finished the job

Xenon:  Micah

Micah: this is so sad, Enten play baby hit me one more time

Xenon: Micah, we've talked about this

[alternatively]

Micah:  I got stabbed

Micah:  and I'm still alive

Micah:  gods damn it did they miss a vital organ again why can't they just fucking kILL M-

Damian, sitting by his bedside:  :((((((((((((

Micah:

Damian:  :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Micah:  ….I'm sorry Fangs I didn't mean it I love the monotonous repetition of existence really

Calidi:  wow Xenon, your lab is so c o o l

Xenon:

Calidi:

Xenon:  if anything ever happened to you i’d take over the world and kill at least three people

Calidi:

Xenon:

Calidi, crying:  t h a n k y o u

Damian:  sometimes I really love my boyfriend, but sometimes i really hate him

Clay:  explain?

Damian:  I was sweeping the kitchen and I accidently tripped him with the broom and he said “looks like you really do sweep me off my feet”

Damian:  it was sweet but the pun-

Clay: Cali is the only reason I'm sleeping so he’s staying with me

Damian: owo?

Clay, flushing:  not like that you dirty-minded son of a bitch

Damian:  sure