Thread:YingHe/@comment-36159587-20190318190247/@comment-36159587-20190727000101

I wrote this cringey piece a bit earlier about Galaxian's physiology/biology; never got to finish it. Some things are prone to changing, but here's the draft.

(First person perspective btw)

"I am…unlike any other living creature.

Yes, I am capable of breathing, talking, and feeling emotions, the fundamentality of human and being nature, it seems. But…none of it is mandatory. I would perhaps even liken myself to a robot or cyborg…but it is not so. Even they implode in the vacuum of space. I do no such thing. I am a mystery I am even trying to solve, and before I know myself, I would like to keep it all secret. I don’t even have a reason for existence. I am like no other living creature. Even to other deities? No. So, with my reasonless existence, I would like to keep no records, because there is nothing telling me what my future holds, or if I even have one. After all, my existence and being itself is irony rolled into something, a bit of matter, or perhaps non-matter.

So to summarize, before I know that my existence matters, I would like to keep it a secret from all. Because somewhere within me, I fear…that someone else knows more about myself than I do.

Perhaps I should start with…feeling. Physically, and emotionally. Inside and out.

I…I care. I cry, feel sad, happy, sorrow…and I laugh, smile, talk, cry…everything others are able to do, I am able to do. But...more often than not, I am sad. I am sorrowful. Even though I am a life god, it is not that my trepidation comes from the fact that people die, or are killed. Yes, those make me sad…but not despair.

I...I suppose I should leave that for a later document.

I suppose the fact that I am crying as I say this is…a testament to what I say.

My tears are fresh blood, not just in color. They spill as if normally, but they are anything but. Each droplet is different. Even my tears, seemingly, do not source from me. Sometimes, when I think about it…I suspect as if it is the blood of the lives I have been responsible for being taken. Tears of guilt, welling up from an infinitive source. But then I wonder…if the guilt is gone—if the source isn’t infinitive--what is left? As it has been piling up, I have been feeling more and more…empty. Each passing event induces more guilt. If there is a purpose to why I live…it is to protect. Yet I only hurt, over and over again—others, myself. I try to protect, and instead…

Just knowing this hurts. So much. And while I wish for it to be over—for the day I stop hurting others—I am afraid of being alone again. Forgotten.

Which leads to the subject: Immortality. Though I am a god, I know nothing of my origins, and as I say, I only remember my memories from eight months ago. Yet, it is impossible to be born right away, with so much knowledge. So, I have theorized…ones I will not reveal at this time, as it is off topic. I remember Rune asking if I had touched a yellow ambrosia flower, and somehow have been forgotten. But there is no such flower that takes so long to show its effects. Besides, flowers do not explain…what I am.

I am, perhaps, a god. But so different, at the same time.

I am living, by the definition of living. But, other living entities have blood coursing through their veins, oxygen pumping throughout their bloodstream towards their heart—

I have none. In the first place, I have no blood, so there is no need for arteries, veins, and capillaries. Just as those are not needed, I do not need a heart to sustain the oxygen in my non-existent blood. So I do not have a heart. I do not need the lungs to take in oxygen and dispose of the gases my body system does not need, because there is no such body system.

Put simply, I have no cardiovascular, digestive, respiratory, circulatory, et cetera…systems.

Perhaps one would ask about the other ones. So let me explain that as well. Put in short, if one wants to skip everything below regarding body systems…if I do indeed have the other body systems, none of them function correctly.

Integumentary. Obviously, I do have hair. However, it does not grow or fall out. Though it is able of being cut (which I have not in a long time), it only grows when I want it to, and a length can disappear if I will it to as well. I see no need in changing my hair every day, so I leave it be. My skin…is largely pale, due to the lack of blood in my body. It is rather elastic, but to the point I see it as an imitation of skin. I have nails as well, but they are…well, rather unlike actual nails. They do not grow and do not require clipping, unless I wish. And meanwhile, I have no sweat and oil glands, and I have no skin receptors. As such, I do not sweat, produce oil on my skin, feel or react from pain, heat, cold…I do not even feel others. I have trained my mind to sense and react to factors.

Muscoskeletal. Bones, cartilage, ligaments, and muscles…they give the body shape and support, which I do have, and enable voluntary movement, which I do have as well. However, since I do not have internal organs, they do not serve that purpose. As I do not have blood cells, my bones do not produce them in the first place. In addition, they do not store calcium and phosphorus, more unneeded minerals. For all of those listed, they are capable of stretching far more than normal bones, cartilage, ligaments, and muscles—they can grow from my true form to my near-adult one. Oh, did I mention all my facial features and form features actually grow when I change them? Then…it can be seen that all of the above are not…original. They have changed in some way. Besides, I cannot strain my muscles or break my bones, as I can jump down from heights, as well as have them maintained even in space.

Nervous—I mean, nervous system. I have found no proof that I have a brain or a spinal cord, or nerve and sense organs, the latter not serving the purpose anyways. However, I know for a fact that—as I told Specter—that all living beings have some kind of mind system that receives, transmits, and integrations information from inner and external sources. My peripheral division being nonexistent, the central nervous system is mandatory, however, at this time, I do not know more about it other than its mere existence. Like me.

Respiratory. This system is, as I mentioned before, mostly nonexistent. I have no lungs. However, as I can talk, I find reason to believe there is something that allows me to breathe, as I can do so as well. However, there is no gas exchange between my nonexistent blood and the outside environment. So if, indeed, I do have an airway, it is to merely provide the function to talk. Besides, I do find evidence of vocal chords, but even they are unlike any other. I can talk in any vocal range, as well as sing, which is undeniably convenient."

(Yeah ignore the cringe please, that was from about a month ago)

Also adding that he's actually intangible unless he makes it otherwise, and can't be hurt physically, externally.

-Galaxian-