Thread:YingHe/@comment-36159587-20190728010324/@comment-36159587-20190831000144

Just had a breakdown, mentally and physically

Because for leadership I'm on the verge of failing and I had to change my actual last name to my "legal" last name, something I've been trying to change for the last 6 years.

For the first one, I haven't received any information about what leadership class is doing for the past 3 months, and turns out they had the wrong number for texting me! Which means I'm 3 months behind and somehow have to scrounge up 25 hours of work in a month. Honest mistake, but I crack under the stress of possibly failing for something I'm actually trying to work hard for.

Secondly, my name doesn't ever seem to belong to me. Like Rai would say, "It's like it belongs to the government and there's no way to change that." So I keep thinking about how someone who hasn't ever been in my life 6 years and abused and neglected me in the 3 years he was still has more control over me than I do myself, and then I broke down.

Today has not been a pleasant day.

-Galaxian-