Thread:ThisIsXenon/@comment-32273133-20181014201457/@comment-32273133-20190401131134

Dominic:  here you are, Damian, a nice hot cup of coffee

Damian:  this is cold

Dominic:  nice cup of coffee

Damian:  it’s horrible!

Dominic:  cup of coffee

Damian:  I’m not even sure this is coffee

Dominic:  cup

Micah:  you look nice, I want to kiss you

Damian:  what?

Micah:  I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDNT MISS YOU

Damian, stroking Micah’s head:  you’re so tiny and adorable

Micah, half asleep:  I could kick your ass right now

Damian, looking at Micah with heart eyes:  I know

Damian:  What’s up? I’m back

Chan:  you died. you literally died. you’re dead

Damian:  death is a social construct

[pre-relationship]

Micah:  looks like I’m single again on valentine’s day

Damian:  well, you know what they say....roses are red, violets are blue....

Micah:  don’t

Damian:  ....Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two!

Clay:  do you ever feel like your life is on a constant loop?

Micah:  it’s more of a downward spiral

Micah:  you got me a valentine’s card?

Damian:  read it

Micah:  “to my dearest Wifey, I wanna get illumi-naughty with you”

Damian: [winks]

Micah:

Micah:

Micah:  I love it

Clay, trying to teach Calidi how to skate:  you got this, just push off

Calidi, afraid:  Clay I’m moving backwards

Clay, skating back over:  Calidi I swear to gods

Damian:  I put the bi in bitch

Clay:  I put the eek in geek

Calidi:  I put the fun in dysfunctional

Micah:  I put the stab in emotionally unstable

Cyrus:  I’m a lesbiab

Cyrus:  lesbiem

Cyrus:  Les Bien

Korin:  it’s alright, take your time

Cyrus:  girls.

Damian:  I’m bisexual and confused

Damian:  not about being bisexual, I just never know what the fuck is going on

Gijinna, illusioned as Micah:  shoot him! [points to the real Micah] he’s the imposter!

Damian:  the real Micah would never pass up a chance to die!

Clay:  okay, this is easy, just pick one of your happiest moments!

Micah:  my what now

Percy:  who are you?

Micah:  sad

Percy:  I asked WHO are you, not HOW are you

Micah:  I still stand by what I said.

Lilah, to Percy and Oliver:  I understand you two have a love/hate relationship, but most  people alternate between the two. They don’t feel them both at the same time

Dominic:  Christmas gets harder the older you are

Dominic:  “What do you want for Christmas?” I don’t know!

Dominic:  financial stability? A stable job?

Calidi:  a nap would be nice

Damian:  [walks into the Keep with a giant coat on]

Micah:  what’s with the coat

Damian’s coat:  [barks]

Damian:  drugs

Percy:  there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly

Oliver, on the bottom bunk:  honestly fuck you

Micah:  I made coffee with an energy drink instead of water

Clay:  ....how do you feel?

Micah:  my heart stopped beating two hours ago

Delphi:  in general, do you feel you’ve been more emotional lately?

Micah, bursting into tears:  no

Damian:  do you want to talk?

Micah:  no

Damian:  are you sure?

Micah:  very

Damian:  do you need a hug?

Micah:  touch me and I stab you

Calidi:  [tucks a strand of hair behind Clay’s ear]

Clay, tearing up:  n i c e

Calidi:  [gets hand stuck in Pringles can]

Calidi:  O H N O O O O

Damian:  don’t you think it’s a little too hot for a black jacket?

Micah:  But I look cool

Damian:  you look sick

Micah:  sick as hell

Cyrus:  Korin, how are you?

Korin, overwhelmed with love for Cyrus:  gay

Cyrus, overwhelmed with love for Korin:  gods me too

Micah:  this is me with my problems

Damian:  you’re holding a fork...

Micah:  [tries to scoop up milk with the fork, looking Damian dead in the eyes]

Damian:  What does this mean

Calidi:  What if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?

Clay, taking the coffee pot away from them: What if you don’t

Micah:  are you happiness?

Micah:  because you’re out of my reach, but I still want to be with you anyway

Damian:

Damian:  is that a pickup line?

Micah:  did it work?

Damian:  I’d like your finest bottle of wine

Cashier [it’s Dominic]:  that will be $1600

Damian:  great, I’d like your eight-dollarist bottle of wine, please

Oliver, holding a box:  you promised me you wouldn’t get me bees again

Percy, from a distance:  just open it

Damian:  I’m so dangerous!

Micah:  literally no ones thinks you’re dangerous

Damian:  [turns into a snake]

Calidi, gasping:  IT’S A DANGER NOODLE

Damian, smug:  you were saying?

Calidi:  why do you call Micah “honey” and “sugar”?

Damian:  they’re just pet names I give to him because he’s so sweet

[later that day]

Clay:  hey Cali

Calidi:  hello molasses

Calidi:  Please, Clay....after everything we’ve been through together, you can’t do this.

Clay:  I’m sorry, Cali

Calidi:  I’m begging you. Don’t do it.

Clay:  it has to be done

Calidi:

Clay:

Calidi:

Clay, placing a draw-4 card on the table:  Uno

Micah and Damian:  3....2...1....happy new year! [start kissing]

Calidi:  guys, it’s not even midnight yet, can you stop making out every time the microwave goes off?

Delphi, to the rest of the assassin squad:  Okay, listen up, gays—

Clay:  Don’t you mean ‘guys’?

Delphi:  I know what I said, Tambien, don’t interrupt me

Damian:  so how would you like your coffee?

Calidi:  as black and bitter as my soul

Damian: ....

Damian:  a glass of milk it is, then

Xavier:  so, did Micah blow your mind last night, or what?

Damian:  actually, he blew my—

Clay, violently gesturing towards Calidi:  BALLOONS FOR THE PARTY WHERE WE CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH AND AN AMEN PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Micah:  [wearing a shirt that says “I’m Micah fucking Jakarta”]

Damian:  [wearing a shirt that says “I’m fucking Micah Jakarta”]

Micah:

Damian:

Micah:  You can’t wear that

Damian, feigning innocence: buT wHY NoT?!

Percy:  you know this guy?

Oliver:  So do you. He tried to kill you.

Percy:  that doesn’t narrow it down much

Oliver:  as in, more than once

Percy:  you’re going to have to be more specific

Oliver:  Three years ago

Percy:  more specific

Oliver:  in the Summer

Percy:  more specific

Damian:  are you drunk?

Micah:  is drunk when your body is a marshmallow and your head feels like a bowling ball?

Clay:  so tell me more

Calidi:  well, I kinda feel like my doctor is flirting with me

Clay:  and how does that make you feel?

Calidi:  pretty good!

Clay:  hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Micah:  remember the time you dared me to lick the swing set?

Damian:  No, I said “Micah, don’t lick the swing set” and you said “don’t tell me what to do” and then you licked the swing set

Oganesson:  Well played, Delphi, I underestimated you

Delphi:  thank you, most people do

Calidi:  how many donuts have you had?

Clay:  ten

Calidi:  are you okay?

Clay: ....

Clay:  nah

Micah:  what the heck did you do last night?

Damian:  I embarrassed myself, my family, my name, and possibly my country

Clay:  this is the second weirdest way I’ve almost died

Calidi:  What was the first?

Clay:  it’s very complicated, but long story short, me and Hanoi are banned from every Olive Garden in the modern sect

Damian:  Marriage is great! Because you find that special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life and it’s probably one of the best things in the world

Micah, looking into the camera like he’s on the office:  I’m that special person

Damian:  You’re afraid of ghosts!

Micah:  not really

Damian:  you said it yourself, sometimes you doubt that ghosts really aren’t real

Micah:  that’s because I like to keep an open mind

Damian:  so why are you so scared when you hear a noise in the middle of the night, huh?

Micah:  because the last time I heard a noise in the middle of the night, it was you, naked, breaking into my apartment, and it traumatised me.

Trin, trying to check if Percy’s drunk: how many fingers am I holding up

Percy, squinting:  hhhhella

Delphi:  you need a hobby

Damian:  I have a hobby

Delphi:  staring at Micah’s face isn’t a hobby

Damian:  you’re right; it’s a profession and I excel at my job